Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in wingsthatflap's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008
9:41 pm	new year Well, it's the new year so I'm going to make it a positive one. Sure, there are a lot of jerks, but I'm going to make the most of my time. I'm going to read more books, listen to good podcasts and unsub from the ones that are saying basically the same thing or things I don't actually need to know. I'm going to save tons of money. I hope. It's hard to do but maybe doable. I need to get out and hang out with friends. Being with friends is always good. I'd like to visit some restaurants too and even learn some cooking myself. I downloaded a recipe program to help out with that. I'd like to fix my mtn bike and also play some basketball. I'm also going to make some home-made rootbeer. Mmmm! And deep fried mushrooms! w00t! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 14th, 2007
6:13 pm	el beer-o Something wicked this way comes! :P I've had a rough life, admittedly, and people just love to egg me on. Maybe they're just unhappy too. I get really annoyed with people, and dislike many of them, but I don't let it fester into hate. That might not be obvious with my smart mouth, but I developed a smart mouth as a defensive tactic to bullying and outright hostility. Some of those hostile times, I either lost my temper or figured, what the hell, I'm probably gonna die anyway. Even if I buy gangsta rap just to be a smart ass, I wouldn't seriously consider gang membership since they're pretty damn mean too, and I just remembered suspicion that they are helping Al Qaeda get into the USA. Great. Maybe just a neither one attitude would suffice. :) I've gotten into the habit of watching my firewall logs in real time. I've noticed that when I'm logged into Skype at the same time as a chinese gal that added me to her buddy list, the stealth connect attempts radically go up. Coincidence? Probably not. When I log off you can see the attempts stop. Ogden is an ass town, mostly. There are many nice people but many turd blossoms as well. It was the same in Cali. I underwent some religious/racial persecution there. Quite a bit in fact. Oroville is a shit down as well. Even many of the mormons there were asses. That's what relgion can do to some people. It's a tool that can also be wielded like a weapon. But enough of that. It is kinda annoying that I have negative people around me so perhaps one of these times I'll ignore them completely. I just don't have that much more to write about since it happens quite a bit. I guess being a smart ass has it's consequences, albeit unfair ones. Others don't feel any reservations about being smart asses so why should I? Well, depends on the situation. I could get my ass kicked. I've been there, and it's not something I wanna repeat. I think I'll be happy as long as I don't have religion and mean people in my life. I'll keep my fingers crossed. On another front, I've got some friends and I've got hobbies, so it's not all bad. Oh, and there's movies, books, video games, etc. And let's not forget the most important, my family. I hope other people find happiness so then they'll leave me alone. ;) Or, if they approach me from a friendly angle, I could be ok with that. Maybe I should buck it up and not be so sassy. It's hard not to defend yourself though. I think the only person that did that historically was maybe Jesus and the Dhali Lamas of past and present. I'm sure there are others. Mother Theresa seemed pretty nice. I'm sure some Atheists are pretty nice too, though most likely they defend themselves. That's ok. You only live once, right? I dunno, but this life is worth living well. Still, with all the negative I see some good in people and beauty in nature. I love animals. If I wasn't so far into the networking stuff in school, I think I'd major in zoology. Hmmm maybe I can do that later. That's why I don't drink or do drugs. Gotta take care of what's left of my brain. I wonder though, should I just chance it? Still, computers aren't so bad. It's good to know computers these days. Hmmm I'll just ponder that. I also like archaeology and geology. I couldn't really make those decisions before because of pressure from my father. That guy had a knack for "you'll like it or else" when picking majors for me. Believe it or not, I think people are beautiful and interesting too. Part of the reason technology is so cool is I'm completely impressed that people can make that. It's like magic but more real and amazing. I wonder, with China trying to hack the shit out of us, and succeeding, spying on us, trying to poison our kids with their toys, and generally being communist pricks, how many of these students and workers are legit versus being sent here to spy and fuck things up? I'm sure there's been some sabotage at least a few times. At least I like China, generally though. Not too keen on their government, but hope someday our countries can be allies. Hell, imagine the space program with the help of China! I wonder what China would do of Al Qaeda fucked with them. You know, as far as I know, arabic people don't fuck with China. Maybe there's a reason for that. They probably know that China would nuke them into the stone age. I think people fuck with the USA because we're too nice, but hey, sometimes people need our help. They even outright ask for it. We should work out an agreement where we can say to Al Qaeda, fight without IEDs, suicide bombers, and cutting off heads, or we'll trade more technology with China and pull out and we'll test the accuracy of their nukes. :) It's too bad that would never work since they mingle with the general population, and sometimes forcibly. Damn human shield tactics. Maybe we should saw some heads off too. Fuckers. Well, time for homework and some light reading. Current Mood: busy Current Music: It's In The Rain // Amarantine by Enya (Comment on this)
12:00 pm	poo nuggets Well, less cranky today. My allergy meds are helping, and I actually was able to use my CPAP machine so I don't feel as fatigued as before. I've only had one coffee too! I still want to spend a large amount of time in Mexico, but still want the technology from the states. It's too bad one can't have dual-citizenship in the USA. If I remember right, Mexico has that and it would make crossing the border so easy. Sure, there are a lot of jerks here, but I'm gonna try and ignore them. I might get saucy from time to time, and hopefully nothing too illegal will happen to me any time soon. Hmmm I do feel like a coffee though. I'm getting a starbucks before I go to work. I wonder...does the Dhali Lama's methodology really work? Can many of my problems be solved if I just buck it up and be friendly? In same cases, maybe. Maybe! However, in the past people have taken advantage of me. Maybe if I'm more street smart that wouldn't happen, or maybe I shouldn't "cast my pearls before swine." Sometimes the bible is like a stragedy guy, and not just a rape textbook. I wonder though, since it has passed along so many hands in history, can some stuff have been changed to be false when it originally contained truth? Could there really be a supreme being? Is he still there? I dunno, and cuz of the way people act I don't often want to get involved with religion. Maybe I'm just being finicky, per se? Sometimes nice people act like jerks. It's something in our genes. I got invited to church by a neighbor, but at 9am I don't think I'll go anytime soon. Not really interested in going at all. Still, my mom wants me to go so I might end up going after all. If the LDS church were true, it'd be great. I can spend time with my family. I need convincing though. Or maybe I just need insight? Oh wow, time for work. Later tators! Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 13th, 2007
7:56 pm	saucy http://www.fbi.gov/pressrel/speeches/mueller110607.htm Hmmm Could there be worse out there than utards, idahoes, and californicators? Yeah, definitely. I have to say I trust the FBI much more than local police. Do I know of cyberterrorists? I wish. I'd turn them in. I'm not going to go from the frying pan into the fire, not by choice anyhow. Still, I'm wondering how much I'd make working in Mexico vs the USA, if it was in computers or even something else. I like it there, and although it's a bit dangerous in D.F., I could see myself living there. I have to say the USA is not all it's cracked up to be. Sure, some people have it good, but this is from my perspective. I've had nothing but grief here, largely, and it doesn't seem like that will change completely. Yeah, the grass is greener on the other side, and this country had some good things... but I hate having to put up with weasels. I guess I shouldn't expect to come to an answer or decision overnight. Stuff like this needs to be thought out. It'll take some planning too. Man, I'm tired and cranky. Maybe this'll change when I'm able to use my cpap machine again. At least my father doesn't live with me anymore. What a pain in the ass that guy was. I really wonder where this state is going. Where this country is going. Will it be worth it to stay here? It's not just the bad things that have happened here. I also have family in Mexico and miss them and I enjoy being there when I visit. I don't feel like leaving when I'm down there. Family brings me back here too. Then again, the Latino community is growing here. I just gotta get out and meet some Latinos. I could use a coffee. At least I'm not dying of allergies. I'm also feeling saucy! Current Mood: groggy Current Music: Raspberry Swirl (Lip Gloss Version) // Cruel by Tori Amos (Comment on this)
5:42 pm	wth You know, I'm going to stop lying to myself. My main problem hasn't been people of color, whether Mexican or Black or whatever. Mainly, white people and christians have been a major roadblock in my life. I've had all kinds of stuff happen to me, much of it criminal, at the hands of these jerks. In cali I had problems with evangelical christians and punks spouting off about how germans were better than Mexicans. I think it's time to meet Latinos like myself. Oh, and what's with a north ogden cop giving my brother a speeding ticket for going 5 over? Now he has to pay $80-85 for the ticket. I've had problems with the no police before and can safely say a good number of them are a bunch of redneck bastards. The bad thing is many in utah have their mentality, even at WSU. So, from now on, I'm buying me some gangsta rap, instead of any of that crappy country. Cowboys/christianity have been the instrument of one of the longest rapes in history. Right and left, minorites are screwed over by them - and turned on each other. It's time for a change so I'm going to become civically involved for the progress of Latinos, as well as other minorities. Hell, this state doesn't really celebrate Martin Luther King day, except for banks and maybe Hill AFB. That to me says, "Utah: A Pretty Hate State." That explains how some of these blondes act. I remember the big stink over supposed gangstas going after blondes. Ha! That's a good one. Even if there was some truth to that, I'm sure it was retaliation for some racist bullshit. It's pretty well known how "rubios" or "hueros" act towards Latinos. I guess they're still mad cuz Hitler got his ass handed to him. I want nothing better than peace, but when that's not an option it's time to be realistic and do what you can to get by. I'm not going to be suckered and I am not going to be held down. Life is too short to live it in a lie. I'm not saying I'll abandon any real friends, but there's a need I have to be around those like me. Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: 3 Strikes You In // War & Peace Vol. 1 (The War Disc) by Ice Cube (Comment on this)
Monday, November 12th, 2007
8:53 pm	boing! The more I think of it, many people are somewhat questionable. Otherwise, they wouldn't be human. People aren't perfect. I guess I should be more realistic and not expect so much of people. That way I don't feel let down so much. Even good people are not perfect. It's just when I get rubbed the wrong way, it leaves me wondering people's motives. I've had a bunch of bad experiences but I don't want to let that keep me from enjoying people and life. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
2:55 pm	holey sphincter batman! Man, I'm reading a bit about windows Vista and Blue-Ray and HD-DVD playback. Vista totally screwed people over, and has caused companies like ATI and nVidia to do the same. Will I have to stick to Linux? Probably. Might even go with OS X still in the future. Dunno. Mac hardware is expensive. Macs are very nice computers, but depending on what I can afford -- I'll upgrade in another year or so. I'll definitely not use Vista though! The article is found at: http://www.cs.auckland.ac.nz/~pgut001/pubs/vista_cost.html I do want a Mac though. Macs rock. I could still run linux in a VM on a Mac. I could even dual boot it! I wonder if boot camp works with linux. Even if I ran it in a VM that would be nice. I wouldn't mind a black Macbook. I'd even go with the white one since it's $200 less for the same specs. I think you can upgrade those puppies to 4 gigs of ram. It's tempting to get something like an Asus laptop though. I saw one in the paper for the price of a current black Macbook, and it had an awesome 8600 nvidia GPU in it with about 256mb vram. Or maybe it was 128... but it would be nice for gaming as well as getting some work done. Oh, and it came with 802.11n. Very niiice! I've been listening to some Ice Cube, and downloaded a promo for a show he produced about racism. It's interesting, and I imagine black people have it kind of rough. Same for other people. I am thinking it's important for me to be nice, even when other people aren't. I also don't want to be angry easily, or at least let it fester. Then I'm just like the ones that were being mean to me in the first place. I feel a bit of reservations about people of color sometimes. Nothing extreme, but I worry about their intentions, especially if they are a bit hostile or not friendly. A while back, in a different time, I was able to talk to people like that and let them know I wasn't out to get them. I'd like to return to that. I think people are born good, and sometimes they change because of life or family or circumstances that are unavoidable. I know there's a lot I couldn't avoid so I know how some of them feel. I'm sure some of them had it worse than me too. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 13th, 2007
11:57 am	changing tracks I was watching a video podcast and found this: http://silentbobspeaks.com/ The interesting thing I've noticed Kevin Smith does is check his email on the pooper. I have to admit I've done that. Maybe we're related? ha! I haven't done that lately, but I used to do it all the time. I'd also listen to podcasts. My brothers would pound on the door and tell me to hurry when everyone was getting ready for work/school. Lots of stuff in the news. A Gena Six guy was sent back to jail, some say as revenge. It wouldn't surprise me. Things are a bit odd in the south you might say. Also, Russia seems a little peeved at the US and Putin might not step down as leader. I kinda see his point about putting missiles in their backyard, because every country should have their own space. The US is not perfect, though good, but still, we can't expect all countries to just bend to our will. That's kinda fucked up, but I do hope we can find a way to work together and see each other as friends. Then again, maybe the government knows something we don't, or at least, I'm sure they are knowledgeable about stuff I'm not informed about. Maybe the missiles are necessary, especially since Putin is acting kinda funny by hinting he won't step down for the next elections. That's fucked up too. I favor the US in this scenario, but we should be careful and try not to piss anyone off but at the same time be quick to do the right thing. Our Saturn is old, and falling apart. Well, the motor's gasket is hosed. We need a new car instead of fixing a junker... though I'm thinking fixing a junker for emergencies would be good too. I'm thinking we should go with Subaru for an inexpensive Impreza. I think the starting price is 17k or so. It's AWD, inexpensive compared to other options, and economic/safe. On another note, Doug Morris of Universal music hates Steve Jobs and is trying to make music free, as long as you listen to it on a Zune. I prefer iTunes still. The chance of me saving up $300 for just a zune is silly. Plus, iTunes has good podcasts... and there's audio books for when I get the chance. Also, I'm not hurting the bottom dollar of Apple, especially when the iPod touch is still better than the Zune. BTW, if I never get an ipod or iphone, I will still use my iBook or a Macbook (when I save the money), and the software I use will be iTunes. I tried using Miro but so far it crashes too much. I'm sure they'll get the bugs worked out but for now....it's itunes for me! I'm also anxious to see Leopard in action. I'll zoom over to the WSU bookstore to check it out when it comes out. $129 for an OS that beats the pants off of Vista as far as security, stability, and speed sounds nice. However, I want to make sure it will be fast on my iBook or I'll have to stick with Tiger. Tiger is not bad, and even though it's not fancy smancy, it does a great job for what I need. Well, I'm going to study. It's sure beats failing my midterm. Current Mood: ditzy Current Music: NBC Nightly News (video) - 10-12-2007-165749 // NBC Nightly News (video) (Comment on this)
Friday, October 5th, 2007
10:43 am	Keep your jesus off my penis This is a freaking funny song and it also makes a very good point: Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis ©2004 Eric Schwartz Keep your Jesus off my penis Keep your bible off my balls Keep your prayers out of my ears And your crosses off my walls You can keep the virgin mother And the resurrection too Keep your Jesus off my penis I'll keep my penis off of you Well I'm frickin' sick and tired Of turning on the news And seeing the religious right's Ungodly fight to take our right to choose When to bear our children Who to love and how Education and protection If we're just practicing for now So dubya look obey a book If that's what works for you But I don't tell you how to pray So don't tell me how to screw Keep your Jesus off my penis Keep your bible off my balls Keep your prayers out of my ears And your crosses off my walls You can keep the virgin mother And the resurrection too Keep your Jesus off my penis I'll keep my penis off of you So you’re screaming bloody murder 'Bout the taliban regime For subjugating women And being too extreme And basing legislation On some ancient holy book Does that sound a bit familiar? Here's a mirror, have a look And as for the ten commandments They need one more at least Thou shall never cover up The acts of pervert priests How'd they let that happen Unless they just abhor us Well anyway it adds Another layer to the chorus Keep your Jesus off my penis Keep your bible off my balls Keep your prayers out of my ears And your crosses off my walls You can keep the virgin mother And the resurrection too Keep your Jesus off my penis I'll keep my penis off of you So you'll execute a person And protect a single cell But mercy-kill the terminally ill And you're goin' straight to hell I don't know much about The word of God Far be it from me But I can tell you what it ain't Hypochristianity I am not anti-Christian Before you grab a rope There is beauty in religion And joy and love and hope We're all looking for an answer Some colossal cosmic cause But who the fuck are you To turn your views into my laws? It's just believers in the bible That would have abortion banned Anti-choice agnostics? I could count’em on one hand And as for killing babies I have but one retort If someone raped your daughter George You'd beg her to abort And if some young girl from your church Shows up with child or some infection ‘Cuz you taught her what a horrid sin It was to use protection One day you'll face the pearly gates And whatchu gonna say When that long-haired Jewish peacenick Sends your ass the other way sayin’ Keep your Jesus off my penis Keep your bible off my balls Keep your prayers out of my ears And your crosses off my walls I've had it up to here With all the biblibile you spew Keep your Jesus off my penis (at least that's what I would do) Keep your Jesus off my penis I'll keep my penis off of you That's if'n you want me to -------- I liked it and bought it off iTunes. I wish I had a song like that around when I kept getting invited to institute. :) Or even better, when my father forced me to go to Rick's College, now BYu-Idaho. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: You and I // Herencia by Soraya (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 6th, 2007
7:12 pm	Art of War http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y146/paleojoe/HeberMemorialDay2006/e66ded2e.jpg Now, what does that photo make you think of? It's not taken in the South. It was taken in Heber City! Ha! I bet some people would be offended and I can't blame them. Some might not. I've heard black people joke about who is blacker. Even heard one guy say, pointing to a picture..."You can only see your teeth! ha!" Still, Heber might want to be careful about having something like this up in their gift shop. I dunno if I posted it already but might have. I can't remember. Too lazy to go look. Nice train rides though. Too bad I lost my usb drive there. It was a nice 1 gig one full of tax info. Doh! I'm debating going to my next linux users group meeting. I want to spend some time away from the computer. I need to take up basketball again, or maybe something low-impact like bike riding. That's only low-impact though if you don't bite it. I sure miss biking. Oh yeah, I need to switch monitors this weekend so I can hopefully play some UT2004. How's that for mental exercise? I'd also like to buy a book on social engineering. There's got to be a good one out there. Some of it is common sense but there's got to be some oldies but goodies out there many people don't know about. I can't wait to get my management class over with. I'm not being updated on a group project by the team lead. I've emailed him with no answer. This was set up Monday. Doh! I hope this doesn't turn on me like it did with Math 107 or 105 or whatever it was. There was a group project then and I ended up failing the class because nobody let me know anything. My GPA would be a bit higher if it wasn't for that. Oh well, back to studying. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotchpits - if you're a redneck. ;) LOLZ OMG J/K!! Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: Get Up // 5150 by Van Halen (Comment on this)
11:16 am	holy swastika batman! I've decided fuck religion. I'm not interested in going to the white man's heaven. I'd rather go to hell. Mormons especially, are mainly assholes. It doesn't help that you rip up a book of mormon in front of the institute. ha! It also doesn't help that your half Mexican. I've gotten lots of crap in church for being part Mexican, ranging from assaults, harassment, and threats. This has happened in Cali, Idaho, and Utah. They're mostly the same anywhere you go. It's funny when they spell it morman because they think they're more man than you for practicing a religion started by a hick. I'd be more likely to believe the Catholic or Buddists. I've also got a beef with bikers. I had problems with them since Cali. They're a bunch of fuckers, a lot of them anyhow. Even some cops are a bunch of puds. I guess that's all part of being a cop, though I've met some really nice ones. I feel safer around them than around most gangstas or even regular people. Some regular people are odd in a bad sort of way. I blame the region, and I'm sure they're nicer in other places. Maybe it's Ogden? I've had some people tell me SLC is nicer than Ogden. Probably. I don't plan on hating, but I don't plan on cooperating. I'm not going to wake up someday and decide I wanna off people. Life is precious, and that's a waste of time unless someone is going to off you or something similar. People can change and maybe these people are going through a phase, maybe not. I'm not holding my breath but I'm holding out for something better. Like I said, life is too short. And yeah, I've had some issues with other religions like the baptists in Oroville, or at least, some of them. Still, I had nice experiences with the ones in Utah. I felt bad they moved here and got crap from some mormons and we got along personality-wise so it's all good. I've met others that were pretty cool too. ;) But enough of the negative stuff. I wanna change my life and celebrate each day since it's one more day I'm alive. I don't want to let negative people make me negative. Misery loves company, but I don't like their company so they can go do what they do - just not with me. Utah, as far as activities go, is not really bad. It has more stuff now, like the Gateway and The MegaPlex in Ogden. Yeah, it's not New York, but the crime is a bit less severe in many parts. It's beginning to look at Mexico, but that's ok with me. A change of scenery won't bother me, and it can't be any worse than it is now - for me at least. I'll get to practice my Spanish for when I'm down in Mexico visiting with family. I don't plan on getting married or romantically involved any time soon. I've got things I want to see, and places to visit. At the least, I'd like some peace. Relationships are like being boarded by good looking half-Klingons. Sure, they're sexy but they'll knock you about a bit. ;) I've got my family to enjoy too. I plan on supporting them and helping them out and spending time with them. There's fun stuff waiting for me. Hurray for my side! Ha! Pavoratti died, though I'm not sure on how to spell his name. Damn! Why can't Eminem die instead? j/k! I've got some of Pavoratti's CDs and when I find them again, they're getting ripped to my iTunes. Rest in peace Paisan. (I probably mispelled that too - sorry guy!) Someone I know was telling me that I'm a sick person if I don't look at porn frequently and also try to get laid. WTF? I didn't really try to argue. How can you argue against that? He said it was my job to propigate the species. This might sound odd from someone that's not religious, but if I'm going to spend time fooling around, and since birth control is not 100% and there are so many diseases out there, I'd much rather find someone worth marrying and diddly doo with her. I don't think it's sick to be interested in other things like science and the next Starbucks coffee I'll be able to afford. I'm trying to get a loan for the next one. :) No offense intended to this individual but that's not going to wash with me. Marriage is a really serious committment, as well as knocking someone up, so I'm not about to do that any time soon. I'm just not financially ready and I still want to experience more of life rather than go spulunking with some dame. And no, I'm not gay. I thought of that as an alternative and then I puked in my mouth. Could have been acid reflux though but most likely it was the thought of lubing some guy's cornhole. I gotta quit drinking soda. That shit gives you brain damage. When I've saved up some dough and paid some bills, I'll be returning to coffee. There's numerous places to get coffee on and off campus. Coffee is miracle, if there ever was one. :P However, I wouldn't mind being off caffeine and depending on exercise instead. I've got a couple of dozen things I've got planned and money is holding me back right at this moment. That won't last that long though. The good news is it's almost Friday! Yes! I just might get something on Redbox. I could use some cheesy entertainment since my monitor wigs out when I try to play UT2004. I wonder if it does that with America's Army. That's a ok game but it's hard as fuck to dodge for me. Plus, they don't have the Invasion mod which I just love. Hmm There's always Doom 3 and Last Man Standing. I'm going to try switching monitors with the computer in the kitchen. Luckily I got some nice 17" NEC monitors from WSU Surplus for super cheap a while back. There's nothing wrong with them. They're just old and fricking huge. They're bigger than my newer Samsung 17" so I hope the damn thing fits on my desktop. I'm thinking the Samsung is maybe wearing out, even though it goes into sleep it must be too much to leave it on. That, or it's defective sorta. I've got a UPS so it can't be power spikes. Hmmm Something else fun to do this weekend. Hiking! It's perfect hiking weather now. I just need to decide where to go. I eventually wanna fix my mtn bike, and yes, I'm going biking in the winter. It'll be fun! I promise! I'd better buy a good helmet though in case I bite it hard. Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: **** Dying // War & Peace Vol. 1 (The War Disc) by Ice Cube (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 31st, 2007
7:36 am	had to format... I had to format my ibook's hard drive and reinstall os x. Even that was a process. I had a little trouble deleting the partition though I finally managed. I lost all my iphoto album since it wouldn't copy over to my flash drive. It was going to take 6-7 hours. I need my ibook so I just scrapped it. The OS was doing other weird things. At least now I have more room and things are behaving better. I've decided to be more positive. Sure, I can dwell on things like the army thing, and even though I had issues with some of them over religion, it's in the past and there's no point dwelling. I'm all ready for school. I got a scholarship, and I've had an interview or two. I'm still going to job hunt though since you can rely on "we'll let you know in 10 days" as being a yes for sure. i gotta get ready for school. I'm loading up my laptop with stuff I need for school and relaxation. I'm so glad it only cost $99 to fix the notebook. Well, back to job hunting. Current Mood: annoyed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 5th, 2007
3:20 pm	Perhaps? Maybe I blame the wrong things, the wrong people sometimes. I still blame a lot of doctors, but perhaps blaming recruiters for doing what they are insanely pressured to is not going to solve anything. I can definitely blame my father for a lot. Quite quite a bit actually. That guy was a total ass. Still is. I can at least be thankful that in spite of having some of his genes, I didn't grow up to be a serial killer or a drug dealer, or a counterfeiter (which he has a felony for). I often have dreams about him where he either tries to kill the family, or imprisons us somehow and acts like all the bad things he did were just a figment of our imaginations. Weird. I'm surprised he didn't show up last night to pester the family. Last 4th (or was it the one before) is when he got a warrant put out for his arrest for breaking the restraining order. The creepy thing is my mom thought she saw him in Ogden not too long ago, less than a month ago. She never says stuff like that. She's even incredulous if I saw "You know, I saw so and so today, or at least he looked like him." She's the first one to say "It had to be someone else, how could you keep running into this person??" She's quite the skeptic in that area but she was pretty freaked out. Anyhow - I should probably practice some spirituality or meditation with buddhism or something so I can tame my inner demons so I have something better to write in my blogs. Even thinking now, maybe joining the military would have been better than being abused by my father for a few more years, even if they told me "You're a troublemaker, you'd do well in infantry." Those were probably wise words. I guess I'm a bit of a troublemaker but often I don't have to bother, trouble tends to find me. Utah is weird, but I think pretty much every other place has its oddities. It shouldn't shock me anymore. I should become callous to it and indifferent. Part of my problem is I'm sensative. I even try to be sensative to strangers, but trust me, in this place it's often mistaken for weakness or submission. Ogden is pretty rough, though of course, there are good people here. I should be thankful at least that those mexicans that I encountered at the ATC failed to drag me into a gang. Yay me! Gangs are for the illiterate, and even then, it's a shame to join. Those guys are a big pain in the ass, especially when they start throwing gang signs and saying stuff when you're driving down Washington BLVD with your mom and sister in the car. These guys have no qualms about hurting or killing women even, it seems. Bastards. I don't like feeling helpless - so maybe joining the military and learning to fight would have been good. I can think of a few gangstas whose necks I'd like to break. Bastards. Oh yeah, you can add my father to that list. He's already given me an excuse, and I firmly believe that if I ever encounter him in person, he's going to be there to start some major drama. Someone who throws a 5 year old against a wall, punches a child in the face, and hurts his back permanently while beating him - yeah, that kind of person wants trouble. I could go on and on, but I'm better off finding something to do like job hunt or something. That, and learn to dwell on the positive. Current Mood: weird (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
3:12 pm	4th of July I gotta say I don't really feel free. I've been screwed over by government types before. For example, law enforcement, military, and gotta say doctors suck too, as well as many of the citizens. It *might* be one of the most free countries, but looking at the state of the world, thats not saying much. I do wish the people who are honest and working to make a difference well. Maybe someday things will be right, but not today. I'll just be thankful for the little things I have. Best of luck! Current Mood: pensive (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
10:25 pm	Tennis! I played tennis today with a friend. I played until I could hardly swing the raquet and it feels good. Only thing, next time I'll bring a water bottle so we don't have to hunt for a drinking fountain. I forgot how much fun sports are. I think I ended losing more than I won, but it was pretty fun. I'm looking forward to some more exercise, whatever it is. I've still got to do some reading. I'm too tired. It will take a bit to adjust energy-wise to exercise. Now I wonder what other sports my friends want to play. I also want to fix my bike and hit the dirt. I bet they have books in the library on bike repair. Hey, it's free and paid for by taxes. I won't feel guilty about pirating books either. Well, there's also websites that are free. Hmmm I wonder. If anyone knows of good bike shops online let me know? Please? Oh, and good but inexpensive helmets? I gotta protect my noggin from mother earth. Me and my brother watched a show on cuttlefish. Those cute little creatures are awesome! It's too bad they only live a couple of years. It's sad for such an intelligent creature to kick the bucket after breeding. I'm glad humans aren't like that, unless you marry Ted Bundy. National Sidewalk Astronomy Night is coming up. I think it's the 19th but not sure. All I have is a small pair of 8x32 binoculars, which would work for the moon and maybe venus or mars if it's gonna be around, but there is no moon at all on the 19th. Grrrr!!!! At least my brother has a telescope. I'm trying to remember the size. 120mm? 90mm? It's one of those two. The damn thing is heavy as an 80s metal band. I gotta quit listening to my CDs so loud. It's fun but my ears are sore afterwards. That, and I'm not liking the RIAA and MPAA's methods of controling music. I am limiting the CDs I buy and sticking with books and the internet. Yeah, music can be great, but all it takes is for some schmucks to over-react and ruin it for anyone that doesn't have a solid gold humvee. Besides, books exercise your mind and make you think for yourself. I am not always up for some mind-numbing repetition, which half the time is saying something I disagree with. Anyhow, bedtime. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Dance of the Waiting // Herencia by Soraya (Comment on this)
Monday, April 30th, 2007
10:00 pm	forgiving... I guess I should be more forgiving of other people having bad days. I'd probably get miffed if someone blogged any little mistake I made. So, sorry. I'll try and keep it ummm elevated, for a lack of a better term. I guess I'm one of those people that has a bad day a little more than needs be. I mean, I'm not intentially mean just for the sake of being mean. I guess I get my feelings hurt, though sometimes a little easily. My brain thinks it's making up for taking a lot of crap before or something. Anyhow - So I'm thinking, what could I do with my time? I think I'm also cranky because I don't go out much. It feels good to go out. I guess I'm like a dog and if you keep me in a kennel then I bark a lot. I haven't nipped anyone but I considering peeing on a few people's legs. ;) However, I don't want to make my mom feel like I just wanna be out and away from her or anything like that. I'm pondering starting a Mac club with some friends. Macs rule! Ok, they're pretty darn good. I'm thinking of maybe buying a black Macbook or perhaps going as far as getting a Macbook Pro one of these days. I need a haircut but I don't have the money to go to bikini cuts. ha! Actually, it's easier to get my hair cut locally, but one of these days I'll get my hair cut at bikini cuts and then go to Hooters to show it off. Oh darlin, save the lap dance for me! Can you tell I've been single too long? It's time I chased some skirts. A couple of friends gave me links to singles sites they recommend. Wish me luck. Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Rich Girl // Love, Angel, Music, Baby by Gwen Stefani & Eve (Comment on this)
11:38 am	military http://shock.military.com/Shock/videos.do?page=5&displayContent=131810&ESRC=dod-b.nl#contentAux The shocker is the part where some people hate the military. Don't people learn from Nam? Soldiers just do their job and they would much rather be home with their families. What's wrong with people? The more I think about it the less I agree with piracy on the Internet. It's like buying drugs. I don't want to help terrorists or ddrug dealers in Columbia or gangs or nazis. When you pirate, you take away from the US economy which can go to the military, NASA, FBI, NSA, CIA etc. I'll stick to my iTunes, thanks. I wish I would have made the connection before but it's not like I've really downloaded much except via iTunes. Here is a cool video: http://shock.military.com/Shock/videos.do?displayContent=133937&page=1 http://shock.military.com/Shock/videos.do?displayContent=133718&page=1 The more I think about it the more I think we do need spirituality, but I believe some "spiritual" leader to be wolves in sheeps clothing. That's just a general statement and I'm not accusing anyone in particular. I've just seen it in the past. Well, I guess *I* need some spirituality. I'm not worried about pushing it on anyone else. It's like going around teaching adults to walk. If that's what they need, they'll get to it eventually. I'm surprised at the rednecks that go into Chevron sometimes. Some are nice but some are complete buttholes. Must be the tie - I've noticed people like that are paranoid of the government and don't like corporate type people. I'd take our government/corporation over them any day. Maybe they had a bad day but since some of those people blame jews, minorities, congress for their drinking/wife beating problems, it's just sad. Anyhow, I have nothing against them if they have nothing against me. I just don't understand some of the hostility I get sometimes. I should be used it though, especially since having been a gifted Latino since a kid, a lot of people weren't ok with that, even in my church. So much for living in the 20th or 21st century. Someone smart is just what this country needs. Look at where we're at in math and science. If we don't quit lapsing, we're fucked. Hmmm I now wonder if any of the crap I got as a kid had anything to do with the nazis that were in my town. Nazis, what a bunch of wacky characters. If there is a hell, they're going there. Hey, at least there are a lot of nice people in utah, not counting the mean ones of course. ;) I don't think I'll move anytime soon. What's the point? There's mean people everywhere and nice people everywhere. Besides, Salt Lake City and Ogden are right up there as far as corporate jobs go. Rock on. Just check Forbes! The only thing I'm worried about is that earthquake that's supposed to happen within my lifetime. Ouch. Well, it's back to lunch for me. I'll post more things about my awesome self later. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Llevame // El Otro Lado de Mi by Soraya (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 10th, 2007
12:23 am	some things to do Please sign this petition if you are an open source, or linux buff, or even a Mac user since this could affect you too. (Someday something like this can affect more open source software). http://techp.org/p/1 Another thing I really want to do is put an FBI and an NSA sticker on my laptop to compliment my EFF anti-patriot act and other types of stickers. Update: I started this blog last night and I managed to find FBI and NSA stickers on Cafe Press so I ordered them. w00r! Soon my laptop will be adorned with that naughtiness that is America! Tonight is super windy! WTF? There is so much wind that it sounds like I'll hear it all night. It's something out of a movie. Wait... it just stopped even though it sounded like a freaking banshee. That, or it sounded like Tiara Carera in a porn video. Damn - wish it was still going. Oh well. I'm looking forward to my next paycheck. w00r! I'm tempted to buy a really cheap MP3 Player but we'll see. BigLots is selling one for $40. It's a 1 gig one which holds over 200 songs. That's enough for a workout! I may just save up for a cheap ipod shuffle since it will work great with my itunes. Well, I have the alien face hugger on my face so I'm going back to sleep. Current Mood: grateful Current Music: Meet Me in America-Lauren Christy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 8th, 2007
2:21 am	getting out more Well, I am going to try something for a while. I'm gonna start listening to rap again. Going to get out more, even if it's only to the library. I'll go to SLC at least twice a month. I'll watch my spending. I'm going to start working out. I may start dating. I'll maybe look into moving out. I'll try to read more. I wonder if I should get a new messenger bag. I would like a nice BumBakPak or something like that but that will happen in a few months. Those things are 100 bucks! I still have my original messenger bag. I want an Apple tshirt. Hell, why not? I can't find my Mac Apple Power Button Hat. I wonder where it went to. I'll look for it tomorrow. Current Mood: hungry Current Music: Pushin' Weight // War & Peace Vol. 1 (The War Disc) by Ice Cube (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 5th, 2007
9:33 pm	my goal is work My goal is to make it to work tomorrow. I was sick today and I spent it in bed and that helped. I'm stream-lining my budget. I got some things cleared up with Qwest and Direct TV, so now I should have some lower bills. There were a mistake or two, and also some features added I didn't want. Now, the most they'll charge me is 162 or so a month for the service. I'm happy to be saving a bit of money each month now. Now, I can apply the money to other bills that need to be paid around here. I'm looking forward to being in school again but that won't happen for a bit. i've got plenty of bills to pay. Oh well, it's just as well since I get dirty looks from the ghetto types as well as some of the molly mormons. I need to put a pentagram on my laptop one of these days. At least nobody is inviting me to institute. I might return to church but I don't want to eat, live and breathe it so to speak. I mean, one of the parties I went to at institute they played "name that hymn." Even some mormon friends I invited said it was lame. How about spin the bottle with the bishop's daughter? bwahaha! Yeah, that's lame to say but I couldn't resist. I'd like to join some kind of science club. Oh wait, there's the astronomy club to which I owe some dues. I gotta find my checkbook and mail off my membership and also read up on astronomy. Eventually I want to get my family a membership to the Clark Planetarium again. That place just rocks. Well, off to bed for me. Woo hoo! Current Mood: sick Current Music: AWA:DNA: The Nucleotide is Turning February 28, 2007 // SETI: Science and Skepticism: Are We Alone? (Comment on this)